Monday, May 2, 2011

What is our Motivation to Love?

We all know there are many benefits to giving love. Just what those benefits are depends on how the love was given. What is our motivation to love?

The actions we take for love can may seem to us and others has as a very harsh action. On the surface, we may even mistake that love as being mean or cruel. If we look closely at ourselves and our honest about the motivation behind why we love, then that seemingly harsh action can be seen for the love it really is.

Recognizing this love is a double edged sword. A harsh action that takes place because of love should stand up to a test of whether our motivations are really in the best interest of the one we love, be it someone else or ourselves. Where it becomes a double edge sword is when our belief in that love and our motivations is shaped and colored by the world we have been exposed to. So many people are and have been convinced that their harsh actions are done purely out of their conviction that they are spreading their love through their actions.

How those actions are perceived by others is also shaped by the other persons exposures to life. Often the motivation behind the love is recognized after the action takes place, but in many cases others may never see a connection between that action and love.

Looking to nature can help, but is not always the answer either. In general the actions that take place with animals is tied more to instincts and survival and from what we can understand, less to love.

When a mother bear chases her cubs away from her to live on their own. This seemingly harsh action is rooted in their instincts for survival. The cubs may not understand this. Maybe the mother bear doesn't even understand it, but the instinctual drive to make the cubs learn to survive on their own is crucial.

As humans we also have those same instincts and yet we have another factor called love. Love can be in sync with our instincts or over-ride those instincts. Humans take many actions ranging from taking their lives to taking others lives in the name of love.

Using our instincts in conjunction with love probably gives us the best guidance. When we think about the act we attribute to love, we should also listen closely to our bodies instinctual response. The response that is generated from our gut and our heart can speak volumes to whether our action is motivated by love. If we are uncomfortable physically, upset stomach, a distressed feeling from our guts, hearts racing or many other "fight or flight " type responses, it is likely a signal that our body is giving us. It is trying to let us know that what we perceive and have convinced ourselves is love, is not in sync with our instincts. There may be an unrecognized motivation underlying that action. That motivation may be anything but love.

So while love may involve some harsh actions, we need to consider the question before hand. What is our motivation to love?